Where are you most of the day? 

I’m not talking about physically…I mean mentally.  Where are your thoughts during most of your waking hours?

Well, if you’re like most of us your mind is off in a million different directions at any particular moment.   

That’s because as women we all wear a number of “hats” (worker, mother, housekeeper, tutor, chauffeur, cook, psychotherapist, etc.)  You’re running through: the shopping list, the tasks at work, that thing you have to do for your kid next week…and on and on.  The to-do list is endless and more items just keep getting added to the bottom.

So, it is perfectly understandable that most of us spend our day either thinking about what happened in the past or worrying about what might happen in the future.  And that is a major cause of stress — not “being” in your life as its happening. 

Think about it.  If you were really living in this moment right now, if that was all you were focused on — how stressed could you be?  Stress is an internal dialog about what happened previously or what might happen down the line.  In the present moment we are just BEING, not analyzing being.

An even more insidious aspect of not being present in the moment…is that these moments actually ARE our lives — and most of us aren’t even experiencing them as they are going on.  That’s pretty tragic, actually. Life is happening right now — and where “are” we?  We are 25-minutes ahead in our thoughts standing in the frozen food section buying peas.  But if you’re like most of us it’s hard to keep your mind from operating like that.  Isn’t it?

And that is why meditation is a good thing — especially for women.

Sure, meditation has a lot of high falootin’ metaphysical connotations, but in its most basic form, is really just being present in the actual moment.   It’s about just “being here now” — not thinking about where you’ve been or worrying about where you’re headed.   Just taking some time, closing your eyes, sitting quietly and breathing…just a couple of minutes to simply exist without a lot of static running through your head.

Most of the women I know are open to the idea of meditating on a conceptual level, but it sounds complicated…and in some ways it is.  But its also very simple.  You don’t have to put on a turban, become a vegan, start wearing Birkenstocks — or stop shaving your underarms.

So, if you’re interested here are some cut-to-the-chase ideas for making meditation work in your life.

Make some time.  Ideally, its best to try to do it first thing in the morning.  But if you have small children this may not be practical.  So just find a point in your day when you can grab some quiet time.  At night before bed.  In the middle of the afternoon — whenever it fits into your schedule. 

Get quiet.  This is a tough one in our culture.  Between our TVs, I-pods, the internet — we’re all on sensory overload.  But the idea is to disconnect from that for a little while (believe me, it will be waiting for you when you get back and try to find a few moments of peace and quiet.

Sit tall.  You want to sit in a comfortable position, but not so comfortable that you’re in danger of falling asleep.  You can lie down, if that’s more comfortable.  But its a good idea to bend your knees and put your feet flat on the floor so you are less likely to doze off.

Close your eyes and breathe deeply.   You can breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth or nose (whichever you prefer), but try not to breathe through your mouth only.

Clear your mind.  Okay, I’ll grant you…this one is sometimes easier said than done. But there are a few ways to try to do just that.  You can repeat a sound or mantra, such as “ah” or “om”, or a word that has special meaning for you, like “peace” or “calm”.  Or you can just focus on your own breath coming in and out of your body. 

Try to “watch your thoughts” from a distance.  As thoughts come into your head, try to let them pass through without getting wrapped up in them — sort of like watching clouds drift past on a summer day. 

Do what you can.  A lot of women think they don’t have the time.  But it really doesn’t take much.  A little goes a long, long way towards reducing stress and teaching you what it means to be “present”.  Time spent here can make all your other time that much better. Even 5-min. while you’re waiting in your car to pick up the kids can really help.

Don’t turn meditating into another source of stress.   There are enough things in your life that you can obsess about, please don’t make meditation one of them.  It’s great if you can set up a regular daily meditation practice, but if you can’t don’t beat yourself up about it. Do it when you can, do it as well as you can.  Remember you are doing something good for yourself no matter what you do.